This post is certified gluten free, but has been typed in a room containing nuts
Try this interesting party trick: next time you're at a social gathering (that can range from a dinner party to binge-drinking session to a barbecue to a an impromptu dogging session), casually drop in the following question:
"By the way, folks... does anyone knows what gluten actually is?"
Then watch, astounded, as you realise that, in 90% of cases, no one has a fucking clue. People know it's in wheat products, and that, well it's probably not good, because lots of people are gluten intolerant, and they make all that gluten free stuff... And that's about the extent of it.
Now, I'm not going to rise to the defence of a protein composite - well, I am, but I'm going to do so from the perspective of material engineering. Gluten is the thing that allows anyone with flour, yeast, water, time, and a bit of training to do that cool dough-spinning thing pizzaioli do.
You can make dough with all sorts of grain. But you're not going to get that magic stretchyness in dough made from grain low on gluten.
So, gluten. What is the Big Deal?
Gluten intolerance, is not, really, medically, a properly defined condition. Coeliac disease is - that affects between half a percent to a percent of the population. The rest... well... is... I hesitate to use the term bollocks, but, well. I find it hard to believe that the percentage of the UK population self-describing as gluten-intolerant are not using this term as a shorthand for "easily swayed by marketing and not really understanding how my gastrointestinal system works".
The point I will put forward to back up this assertion is that this whole gluten intolerance phenomenon is culturally bound.
Let me take a detour here.
Remember that whole autism vaccine scare you guys had in the UK? Well, weirdly, that never happened in France. Whereas the vaccine is the same. But oddly, in France, when the Hep B vaccine came about, there was a similar scare, alleging it increased the risk, if not caused, multiple sclerosis.
Unfortunately, vaccine scares and anti-vaccination campaigner (which is a shorthand for "idiots") are still a thing. Mostly in the US, but still. If you ever find yourself engaging in a conversation with someone taking some kind of anti-vaccination stance, try putting to them the example above.
Because, well, in countries where the genetic background is broadly the same, and if we're looking at the same substance... surely either the phenomenon would occur in both, or in neither.
The fact it is culturally bound proves it's non-sense.
So back to the intolerable gluten intolerance gluttony the UK seems to have develop. Look across the channel. Actually, grab a holiday there if you can, the exchange rate is good thanks to Greece's latests stunt. There is barely a market for gluten-free products in France.
So what does this tell us? Yes, coeliac disease is a legitimate pathology that is to be taken seriously. "gluten intolerance", however, isn't and should be taken with a pinch of salt.
I mean, I understand it's tempting to picture Gluten as this sort of mythical monster. In my head, I'm imagining a sunburnt, tubby David Cameron on a beach.
So yeah, if this is the mental picture you have, it's enough to make anyone trying to build a nuclear bunker entirely of rice-cakes, and cower in it repeating "Please spare me, Glutenoth, Eldritch Creature of pure evil" whilst you steadily go mad in Lovecraftian fashion.
Seriously. Most people are not gluten intolerant. Most people simply need bit of change in their diet, because most people by their bread in supermarkets, which is made from flour, which comes from a strain of wheat that's yummy for bread, but you know, ultimately, can make you feel a bit bloated and the like.
So they hear about "going gluten free" - first it's seen as "hey, let's try it". They give it a shot, and they feel better, tummy wise. Just as they would if they were shifting their carb intake a bit more towards rice, barley, potatoes, or what have you.
So they think "wow, this is great", so they stick with it for a bit, just to try....
And of course, if they do that for a bit, then the next time they have a gluten-heavy meal (say a really nice Franco Manca sourdough pizza), they'll feel bloated and blah-di-blah-di blah... just like if you go vegetarian for a year, then decide to cane a massive steak, you'll feel a bit weird because your system adapts to your diet.
So they conclude "wow, so I'm actually gluten intolerant", and this is how it starts.
It's going to be difficult to make people aware of the feedback loop between the availability of gluten-free products, their popularity, the fact people try it, the fact they see a difference, but unlike any other difference in diet, they switched to something special, so they think there is something to it, so they actually sill fail to vary their diet and by observation bias, notice something that probably didn't bother them before they tried a gluten free diet, so they self-diagnose as "gluten intolerant", which again, medically, doesn't mean anything, which in turn make a bigger market for gluten free products.
So my suggestion is to make fun of it. If you lend someone a book specify "oh, don't worry, try it, it's gluten free". If someone offers you a glass of orange juice, ask "I don't know, is it gluten free?". Go for it. Shampoo. Cars. Computer code, what have you.
It's fun, and well, as they say... "if you can't fight them don't join them, just make a decent attempt at explaining, and then make fun of them."
